You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
try to milk me bitch
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