loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
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woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
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Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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