and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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