i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize