just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You took a bar mat shot.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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