my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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