I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
