I bet he comes in French.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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