i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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