she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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