Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
im about as happy as oj after his trial
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
