I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize