This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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