I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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