Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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