she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize