I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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