He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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