You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize