he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
