He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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