Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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