Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
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Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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