Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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