PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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