have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
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And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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