You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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