..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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