I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
