Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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