that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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