I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
