wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
