please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.