So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.