We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
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Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday