i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.