just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
