i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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