Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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