Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize