Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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