I just pynch a tree in the face
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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