like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
