Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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