You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize