she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dear god my vagina.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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