I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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