Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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