just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
