2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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