I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
