need another drink. this is the easiest way
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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