all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
