"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
