pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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