forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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