At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
