Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
