The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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