I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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