All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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