all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
did i walk over a car last night?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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